When An Interview Goes Wrong
by Clear-Water-Blue
Summary: Just a little random thing I made about the Gorillaz if they had a horrible interview. WARNING: Story contains some dirty launguage! I don't own Gorillaz!
1. When An Interview Goes Wrong Part One

When An Interview Goes Wrong

"Hello I'm Crystal Johnson and I'm sitting here with the famous band, Gorillaz!" The audience clapped and hollered. "Please introduce yourselves."

"I'm Murdoc Nicclas. Bassist. Owner of the band.

"2D, singer and play the keyboard."

"Noodle, guitarist."

"Russel Hobbs, drummer." Crystal cleared her throat.

"Well, are you all planning on making another album?"

There was a moment of silence.

"I don't know, we just wanna take it easy, you know..." Murdoc mumbled. "Take it sloooow."

"I've been makin' me own music." 2D said. "I mean, I haven't made the beats, just the lyrics. I was hopin' lil Noods here can help me."

"What the bloody 'ell is Noodle gonna do?" Murdoc snapped. Apparently he was drunk. He drank a whole bottle of volka when they were riding to the studio. "She is 'bout to go to thaat place where the people have those Jackie Chan moves and that language, don't get me started on that gibberish-"

"I'm going back to Japan," Noodle corrected him.

"Russel," Crystal turned to him. "What are your plans for the future?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, gotta wait and see what happens. See, I don't really plan for things-"

"Yep, yep thaat's truee," Murdoc slurred. "I mean, he never really thinks. One moment of time he stayed in the basement of Ike Turner. Ike Turner! You went a wee bit mental didn't ya Russ?"

"The guy sure did look like Ike Turner."

"This guy may be the best drumer, but sure is unprepared. Remember that little ghost in the video...er, what was that video again?"

"You mean Clint Eastwood and Rock The House?" 2D budded in.

"Yeah, yeah, even face-ache remembers."

"I guess I have that bad luck. So man ghost possesed me. And I had to make some har decisions and lose some things. Those were some hard times. I mean, I had to lose my closest friend Del, the ghost who used to live inside me. We were best friends and-"

"Russ, Russ.."

"Sorry man."

"Take it easy man. Take it easy, have a salad...you know what I mean."

Crystal looked at Noodle, who was texting and then 2D. "2D, would you do another album if you were told to?"

"'Ou' mean forced?" 2D asked.

"Yeah...let's say that..." Crystal shifted in her seat.

"No, not if I didn't want to. Really, I don't let Muds or anybody else push me around-"

"Oi, you! Get me astray! NOW!"

"Yes sir..."

"And what about you Noodle?" Crystal asked. There was a moment of silence. Noodle was fiddling with her phone. "Noodle?"

Murdoc grabbed the phone. "Inteviewer is talkin' to you!" Noodle tried to grab her phone but Murdoc still had it tight in his hand. "Who you textin' anyway?" She grabbed the phone then hit Murdoc in the head with it. "Dammit Noodle!"

"Excuse me Mr. Niccals, this show is live and there isn't suppose to be any cursing on the show," Crystal said.

"What you mean no cursing?" Murdoc yelled.

"Awww, here it go..."Russel said. "Another episode."

"I curse all the time you skinny, no good, whore with your perfect make up and blonde hair! I own the show!" Murdoc ran to the camera man and pushed him out of the way. "I own this fuckin' show now!"

"Murdoc-San!" Noodle yelled.

**WE'RE SORRY THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM YOU ARE VIEWING IS CURRENTLY OFF AIR**


	2. When An Interview Goes Wrong Part Two

An Interview Gone Wrong

"Hello welcome back," Crystal said. "We had some technical difficulties but now we're back on air." She glanced at Noodle. "Soo Noodle, what do you like to do for fun?" Noodle was texting.

"Just text..." Noodle trailed off. She placed her phone in her lap. "Play guitar really."

There was an awkward moment of silence...

"Well..." Crystal unfolded a piece of paper. "Some fans of you all have sent in some questions for you all...here's the first one. **Do you all play pranks on each other all the time? **This question was from this fan named Ra-sheed..." Russel grabbed the sheet of paper out of Crystal's hand.

"Rasheeika," Russel corrected her. Murdoc gave the usual evil laugh.

"Of course, love. All the time. But, we jus' don't play tricks on each other, you see? Whenever we go to parties and stuff, we trick everybody there! One time, when we we're all at the after par-ty, this girl wanted a hot dog-"

"Muds, Muds! Don't tell this story please..." Russel begged.

"No, no I insist-"

"But Noodle is here." He looked at Noodle then rolled his eyes. Murdoc continued.

"I-I-I-I-I-I got this hot dog, right? We we're all at this par-ty, so this girl wanted one, so I placed the bun on my (BEEP) right?"

"Muds, please don't start..."

"'Ou mean you put the bun on it?" 2D asked.

"N-no, no, no, I put my (BEEP) in the bun and put ketchup all over it. I put it on the plate-"

"Oh god."

"And walked over to her. She kept grabbing it and stuff. And I was like 'yeah girl grab that hot dog, grab it and then-"

**WE'RE SORRY THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM YOU ARE VIEWING IS CURRENTLY OFF AIR**

"And we're back!" Crystal said. "Just some technical difficulties."

"No! No! You can't just con them like that!" Murdoc yelled. He put his face into the camera. "They forced me to stop talking and put us off air! Isn't that a load of bullshit?" Crystal and the whole audience gasped.

"Editior! You missed a curse word!" Crystal yelled. She smiled at the music group. "So...2D, what's been going on between you and your girlfriend A-Dawg?"

"Nothing really," 2D replied. "Jus' lovin' each other that's it."

"2D, 2D," Murdoc said, shaking his head. He looked at Crystal. "I mean, I haven't even heard any moaning from face-ache's bedroom. So there really is nothing going on."

"Murdoc!" 2D yelled. "Thas' none of your business!"

"It is my business because I listen to what's going on in your room through the door!" Everyone looked at Murdoc all crazy.

"Murdoc, I knew you had some issues, but," Noodle began. "But you're acting like a stalker on the trail, yes?"

"Well to settle this, let's get A-Dawg out here right now!" Crystal yelled. The crowd started cheering and A-Dawg walked out. She sat next to 2D. "So Ashleigh-"

"A-Dawg," said the girl.

"A-Dawg, what is the truth?" She looked at 2D. Ashleigh whispered something in 2D's ear. 2D nodded. "Is there something going on in the bedroom?"

"Yes."

Murdoc gasped. Noodle gasped. Russel cracked his knucles at 2D.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well what do 'ou think?" 2D asked Crystal. "Yes, we do that stuff in the bedroom."

"What stuff?" Crystal asked.

"Are you that stupid?" Noodle asked. "They have sex! Gosh!"

"You know what, I can't listen to this any longer. If I do I'm gonna up-chuck on all of you." Murdoc took his microphone off. Then he walked offstage. The rest of the band was still sitting in their chairs.

"Well there goes this interview. I'm Crystal Johnson and we'll see you next time!"


End file.
